Back to School!

And just as soon as I say I'm going to start keeping up with my blog better, I go almost a week without posting an update. Oh, well, I suppose that's life.

It's been a pretty crazy week, with school starting back. If any of you read my facebook status at one point this week, I said I was 'pretty much failing at life'. I said it as a joke, but I did some pretty brain-less things this week, that are kind of out of character but totally forgivable; they were just frustrating. I overslept a few times, left a door unlocked, got a parking ticket because I forgot to renew my campus permit, among other things. But I'm back to normal! Getting to class on time and getting things done, like I should.

I worked tonight, but I'm up at this hour because I decided to take on the dreaded weekend graveyard shift this semester. This just came about tonight actually. I offered to take it because I figure if I'm working through the night, I will still be able to attend my weekend seminars for school and festivities, when they're close to town. So, I'm hoping it will work out well. And I am trying to stay up for a while so that I can rest during the day and get my internal clock reset. The biggest advantage of this new arrangement is that I'll get to go to all my church services again, which I am very excited about!

My classes seem pretty great so far. I only have one class a day and they're all in the afternoon. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I have art history, which I love, and Tuesday and Thursday, I have color theory, which also seems like it will be fun. Two of my graduate courses are online, and I just have to sign in and submit discussions and assignments; there are no set 'class' times. My last class is a weekend seminar, next weekend, and a ten page paper to follow. Hopefully it will be quick and painless...if nothing else, it will be quick and painful.

I am missing my kids like crazy, but that's one of the downfalls of living three hours away. They're all getting back to their school-year routine anyways, so I suppose I wouldn't be seeing them all that much. I am definitely missing MG, DR, and all my Fayetteville and Van Buren peeps, too...I got real used to just hanging out with them on those few weeks off at the end of the summer. But as I've said dozens of times this week, "Life Goes On."

Most exciting part of today, besides switching weekend work shifts was that Tony's mom, Sherri, sent me Tony's voicemail recording on my phone...so I can hear him whenever I want. Big Thanks go to Sherri! That pretty much made my day.

Today's verse: I Timothy 4:12-13
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching, and to teaching.

Comments are welcome. I love you all. Have a wonderful weekend. :)

Catching up

So, I haven’t blogged in a while, but I stayed pretty busy this week. I was home, and I no longer have a laptop, and since my mom got that nice new computer, she isn’t the best at sharing it. ;) Plus, I really didn’t want to get up early to beat her to it. She did manage to get me addicted to a few Facebook games and the Game Show Network, which I don’t get on my white county cable! Ugh! I had some time to catch up on sleep, and visit with friends and have good food and good company. I started to feel guilty about being so lazy and unproductive while I was home, but MG quickly reminded me that summer break is supposed to be a reset before school starts back. Oh yeah. Why didn’t I realize that ten years ago?

I went to Fayetteville for the better part of the week. It was pretty hard being there, especially when I hadn’t taken the time to let things set in. Once I got there, it all set in real quick, and the memorial service Saturday night was pretty much the emotional climax of two weeks. I broke down and I cried a lot (I’m pretty sure I hit my tear quota for the year, so don’t expect it again for a long time), but I made it through, as did everyone else there. Tony’s family seemed to be handling it better than I did…but I assume that is partly because they had a week to process and partly because they had to watch him decline so in the last few weeks. The service was beautiful; it really was a great celebration of Tony’s life. Many of us cried, but we all laughed and we all shared some of our fondest memories of the past few years with Tony. May he rest in peace until we meet again.

The week before the memorial, I spent a lot of time with extended family and friends in the Fayetteville area, and I stayed really busy: from swimming to hiking to volleyball to playing with kids and everything in between. I got to check on Baby Isaiah. He is doing so well. He is now over 5 pounds, eating out of a bottle, and out of the incubator. It’s amazing! He is getting stronger everyday. I got to see my favorite baby girl and her Mimi, Papa, and Tio, W and C, the Collins, the Thompson gang and their GG and lots of other friends I’ve been missing for the past few months. It was good to see everyone and blow off some steam.

I headed back to Van Buren to hang out with Momma Greta and Daddy Roger this past week. We were pretty lazy most of the week, but as I say that, I realize we really didn’t laze around all that much. We had a funeral and funeral dinner, shopping, hair cuts, lots of swimming. Our lovely friend Dixie got her in ground pool, complete with diving board (that sounds like Barbie’s Dreamhouse) installed last weekend, so I spent a part of every day swimming/playing in the water and hanging out with Dix and her gang. It was a blast…since I got back to Searcy, I’ve felt like I was drying out…like a fish out of water. It’s been three days and I haven’t been in a pool! Luckily, I’m going to see Allison tomorrow, and we’ll inevitably swim, since she lives in a Lindsey apartment and their complexes always have nice pools. ;) (No, I’ve never worked for Lindsey Management. Ha!)

I also took the Praxis Exam in Ft Smith this week, so I can actually be accepted to the MAT program…I did fine on the two parts I got grades back on, I just have to wait for the written portion’s grade to come in. Fall semester classes start tomorrow. It’s back to the grind. But I’m a pretty big nerd, I like school a lot…so I’m pretty excited about the first day of classes. J I decided to be a slacker this semester and drop two of the 7 classes I was signed up for. So now, I will have 2 undergrad art courses and 3 graduate education courses. It’s going to be a big change from my course load of 4 studios and a history course last semester.

I think I’ve stayed pretty true to the title of my blog with this post and rambled a whole lot. This is precisely why I need to keep up with my blog and not wait two weeks in between posts.

Song of the day is: “Song in my Soul” by AVB, thanks to Dixie for the AVB cd this week. If you’ve never heard it, look it up. It’s a good one.

Verse of the day: Philippians 4: 4-9

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praise-worthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace be with you.”

No tears in Heaven...

This week has been hard, to say the least. It is so comforting to think about Tony, in Heaven, pain-free, cancer-free, worry-free, in the presence of the Almighty, singing with the choir of angels, walking down that street of gold, probably throwing a frisbee, and rockin' out to some Family Force 5. But as I've told a few people, I haven't really let it hit me yet. I know that he's gone;I'm not living in a dream world, but I haven't really been able to let it sink in. I have found myself doing all sorts of things to stay busy. I haven't allowed myself a free moment; I've even kept myself busy until I am falling asleep sitting up, so that I don't have down time in bed before I fall asleep...which doesn't always work. Like my good friend Whitney, I've found myself in the past few days, longing to be with Tony and our Father. It's not that I don't appreciate the many blessings I have here but that I miss him so much, and I know that he is in the land where no tears and no pain exist. I can't wait for that day when I can be with Tony and Jesi and all the others who have gone on before us and are there with the Lord who has prepared a place for those of us who are faithfully waiting for His return.

I have also found myself almost to the point of anger in the past few days. It's not that I'm angry that he's gone, but that I'm angry that there are people that I see here every day that are wasting their lives away. Tony lived every minute of his life to the very fullest for the glory of the Lord, and there are people with wonderful lives handed to them on silver platters and they're just giving it away for the 'pleasures' of this world. I think maybe my anger is stemming from my lack of grieving or dealing with my own emotions, but I have a feeling once I get to Fayetteville with all of my family and friends, who all loved Tony, it will hit hard. I'm just hoping to avoid a complete emotional breakdown (which, if you know me, is almost incomprehensible), but is fairly likely at this point.

So, here's one of my favorite pictures of me and Tony (its from a few years back), and a great verse to think and dream about.



And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.
Revelation 21:4

God Bless each and every one of you, and thank you for reading my ramblings.

Brother, you will be missed...

My good friend and brother in Christ, Tony Collins went on to be with our Father in Heaven today. As you read in my earlier post, he was an amazing person and he had a huge impact on my life. Undoubtedly, his passing has left a giant crater in my heart, but I know that his suffering is over and he is in a better place, the best place. Tony led the kind of life any Christian would be smart emulate. He knew why he was here and he dedicated his life to God and leading others to Him through Christ. I count it a blessing that I was able to be so close to Tony and count him among my closest friends. I know that there will be times that will be hard, things that will remind me of him and all the great times we shared, but those memories are all good memories and I will look back on them and be grateful for every minute we shared.


Tony, my Brother, I love you. I miss you. I know you are in Heaven looking down on us. I will remember you always. I look forward to the day we will be together again. You made the biggest impact on my life, and your memory will live on in my heart, and the hearts of many others. My music collection, my addiction to frisbee, my desire to visit the great land of Alaska, my drive to work for Him, are not only shared with you, but inspired by you. My heart aches for my loss but rejoices with the angels for receiving just one more amazing soul at those pearly gates. I love you so much.

However, the spiritual is not first, but the natural; then the spiritual. The first man is from earth, earthy; the second man is from heaven. As is the earthy, so also are those who are earthy; and as is the heavenly, so also are those who are heavenly. And just as we have borne the image of the earthy, we shal also bear the image of the heavenly. Now I say this, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable. Behond, I tell you a mystery; we shal not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet; for the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, adn we shall be changed. 1 Corinthians 15:46-52

Please keep the Collins family in your prayers as the planning in the next few days will be grueling.

Home Sweet Home

As much as I enjoy living in Searcy, and as many friends as I have made down there, this is still where my heart is. I love being here and spending time with my friends and family. I have had a great time this week, but its going by way too fast.

So far this week, I have done a lot of fun and seen a lot of my extended family up here. I went with Momma Greta Monday to get a computer and wireless router before I headed up to NWA. This is great news for my family; we've all been trying to get her into the 21st century for a while. ;) She has her own facebook and email now, so its pretty exciting.



I went up to Springdale Monday night to see some of my favorite kids in the world and their GG and Ms D, a very close friend. It was a great time for us to visit and play with the kids. We played hide and seek and we played outside once it cooled off a little bit. The three of them are all growing up way too fast and I don't get to see them nearly enough. They are all strong, and athletic, and super smart. They are such good kids. I miss them a lot, so it was great to see them and get to spend some time with them.

I also got to go meet sweet Baby Isaiah Monday night. He is just the most precious baby boy. He is doing really well. I also was able to see him twice more on Tuesday. He was able to start breastfeeding, and he is gaining weight. He was kicking around and he held my finger and opened his eyes; he seems to be getting stronger by the day, so that really is a blessing.

I picked up my favorite baby girl, Mya Monday morning and got to spend time with her. She is growing up so fast. It seems like yesterday I was meeing Felisha with this tiny baby in her arms, and now I go to meet this little girl who is about to turn a year old and is walking and talking and is just so smart. It is amazing. I am very jealous of her Mimi, who gets to see her everyday. I started missing her before she got buckled in her carseat to go home. That little girl has just run away with my heart.

While I was up there, I had the chance to see Will and Christena, Emily, and my favorite ex-bosses and coworkers at St John's Childcare and Cornerstone apartments. We've had VBS at Pleasant Valley this week, too, so we've been busy every night this week. It's been a lot of fun to see everyone at church every evening of the week though, since I'm not getting to spend a Sunday here. Dad taught Tuesday night, so I got to hear him teach, and he got to use me in his illustrations (haha).

I got my eye exam today, which was the reason I had to come this week, but the rest of the stuff was the real reason for this trip. I have been able to catch up with friends and spend time with my mom and dad so its great. Tomorrow I am going to get my hair cut and we have to finish shopping for Em's birthday (which is Monday, by the way, for anyone wondering) and I have to go back to Searcy Friday. It's back to the grind Friday evening, but I've still got two and a half weeks before school starts back, so I can still rest some. It's been an awesome week, but I'm definitely not ready for it to end.

Make sure and keep the Collins' family in your prayers. It is really just a day by day thing at this point, so just pray for their faith and strength and their well-being. Also, Randi is headed back to Arkansas this evening, so pray for her safe travels as well.

Just a verse to think on:

If therefore there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.

Philippians 2:1-2